Saturday, January 28, 2012

'Lonely'

Another take on the Tritina (a Poetry Form challenge from Poetic Asides.)

http://fineartamerica.com/featured/silhouetted-birds-in-tree-at-dusk-rebekah-mancino.html


‘Lonely’


Her shadow getting long,
The sunset nears, the night-
Fall follows shortly, carrying whispers

Of those ancient songs and other whispers,
Of times forever gone, and long
Forgotten, but waking every night

To teach their sorrow to night-
Ingales until the break of morning, when whispers
Die, and so does the long-
Ing.  For now her long night whispers.




Live for the Love of it,
The Happy Amateur

4 comments:

  1. Didn't try the form when it showed up, but now I see its possibilities. I like the way your poem sounds.
    I don't quite understand your choice to emphasize "Ingales" and "Ing" with formatting. Is it to stress the subject's feeling incomplete?

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    1. Thank you, Barbara!
      As for the "Ingales" and "Ing," I actually tried to emphasize "night" and "long" that were supposed to be at the end of the lines, so this 'funny' formatting was done for the sake of the form and syllable count :-) but I kind of enjoyed splitting the words that way and I really enjoy your explanation!

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  2. My nights seem stretched and longer when my love is away. For then I have to live with the shadows left by nightmares ...alone, but perhaps not so lonely knowing he will return... sometimes whispers are very haunting. Nice verse - thanks for sharing.

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    1. Oh, what a romantic comment!
      Thank you, Jules!

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